The most memorable gift I ever received wasn’t something I could hold in my hands

The most memorable gift I ever received wasn’t something I could hold in my hands, it was the gift of togetherness. The time someone puts into the gift and the love that is sent with the message.

Memories are remembered when gifting and it doesn’t have to be at certain times of the year either. As parents, we are always trying to make memories with our young, whether on purpose or by coincidence.  These memories can be in the form of places we take our offspring, books we read to them or routines we’ve instilled in them, daily. The most remembered memories are usually the spontaneous ones. Remember when you found your family belly laughing over something? Or the time everyone got along on a trip to the beach and you dug holes or built castles?

We spend most of our early parenting years finding things to teach our children, life’s lessons that we wish to instill.  Our goals, in a nutshell, are to have blueprinted enough important qualities in our kiddos, so they won’t grow up to be ungrateful assholes while also teaching them how to be a productive part of society. We can start by teaching them the art of giving and receiving graciously.

Let’s face it, do you remember the sweater aunt Betsy gave you 2 years ago?  How about the toys you received as a child?  Maybe there were a few that stand out, but most things we’ve received over the years didn’t have much of an impact unless it had special quality or memory associated.  Some of those memories were of the time you traveled to see aunt Betsy or the games you played while opening the presents but not the actual item that was given.

The most memorable gifts:

For the tangible items, I remember tickets I received to a Broadway show as a teen (it was my first), a special statue of a mom and baby that my mother gave me when I turned 30 (she was beginning to understand who I was), concert tickets to Michael Jackson (my first concert and 4th row seats) and a Disney trip my parents put together as my step-fathers dying wish. Those memories are special and made an impact but the ones I hold closest to my heart are the gifts of time. When my mom took the time out of her busy life to sit down and spend time playing with me it was like winning the lottery. We played crazy 8’s and monopoly on these rare occasions, which may seem like nothing to you, but to me were the whole world. I’m convinced if she didn’t have any solid gift to hand me on Christmas but instead played a game or gave her undivided attention, I would have been over the top!!

Sure, I can recall the beautiful art my children made for me and those adorable handwritten coupons for a free massage or to clean.  Not to mention, the special things my children have said to me over the years (even when they didn’t have a birthday gift), the failed breakfast in bed or those written messages in a card that have stuck in my heart forever. All those events I can recall because the people who gave them to me really thought about ME and gave their time!!  It’s heartfelt to know someone cares enough to think about what you want, need or enjoy in life.  Gift-giving can be the language of love when done appropriately.

As a mother and grandmother, I feel the importance of sharing in the extraordinary lives of these mini Me’s.  Will it make a 3-year-old excited to open the coveted toy of the year-YES but only for a few minutes, hours maybe days?  I want my remaining years spent on this planet giving from the heart.  For memories to be remembered I must go the next step and share in the delight of time together doing things we enjoy! No, I am not going to kick the bucket anytime soon but I would like the rest of my time on earth to matter more than it has the first 50 years.

Let’s look at a few creative ways to give a gift that someone will remember.  It may not always be tangible at the time but when it happens, it will be remembered. 

Other ways to give a memorable gift:

• Take someone on a shopping spree and have lunch.
• Make a themed basket of supplies to their favorite place (beach, casino, camping).
• Create a mystery box with whatever you can think of that reminds you of that person.
• Donate something in their name for a cause they are passionate about.
• Gift cards
• New games for game night

While some of these ideas are expensive, think about all the items you may purchase that are not always appreciated or even wanted, things you buy because you feel you “should or have to.” How much money have you wasted doing that through the years? There may be someone (or many someone’s) that you’ve never truly understood on your gift-giving list and you can’t always figure out what would be appropriate. If you haven’t felt compelled to learn about them, it may be best to bake them something instead. It’s heartfelt, delicious and memorable. On the other hand, if you spend time learning what makes them tick, you might be surprised by what sincere memory you can contribute.

Keep in mind that you can buy a group gift for everyone in one family to appreciate instead of individual gifts (family membership to the YMCA, in my area- this is affordable). Sometimes you may chip in with others to buy an expensive present, fr example, a swing set for all the kids, or a weekend getaway for the parents.  If it’s over your budget, let it be the gift for the year covering multiple occasions or multiple years.  Be creative but make a budget and stick to it. 

Let’s teach our children how to be a superstar in gift-giving and receiving. Start by being the mentor they model in creating memories for their recipients. It’s not about you, you can’t buy love anyway! Be a visionary and customize your gift-giving to each individual loved one.  Memories are remembered when we put thought and love into it. 

Happy Parenting!