Teaching the Art of Giving

When children are very young, teaching the art of giving is hard for most to conceptualize. Since birth, they have been the focus of many gifts, and very little is expected of them, rightfully so. Some children will naturally have the personality to be a giver, sometimes too much, but the other personality types may need more convincing. It’s hard to grow up watching the commercialism surrounding holiday seasons (and made up holidays). Everywhere children go, there is a message of receiving a present for whatever time of year it is. I mean Christmas alone starts in July- Seriously, I went to the boardwalk in August hoping to spend a lovely weekend soaking up the end of summer (I’m in NEPA) but instead was hit with Halloween and Christmas- EVERYWHERE! 

So how can we teach kids of all ages to filter out the fictitious commercialism holiday bull and instead teach them generosity? I suppose we should explore our hearts first. What type of parenting did we have surrounding gift-giving and receiving? How do we model to our children? What messages do we send our offspring? How much gratitude do we show from everyone? Think about times you may have complained to your partner, friend, parents about a gift you received, what message did your little one take away from that conversation? They are always listening and learning from us. 

By teaching the art of giving start by showing children a few essential pointers:

• Give secretly– make a batch of cookies and leave on a neighbors’ doorstep, anonymously pay a bill for someone, clean a yard when they are not home, do a project for them, or send a food delivery over. 
• Sacrifice– Show the littles how to give away something they love: time, items, money, etc. Even a young child can wrap up their beloved toy and give it to a friend.
• Give to those underserving– we all know people that we feel are not deserving of anything. Maybe they take advantage of people or have a lot of material things already; either way, you can teach these types about the art of giving. It doesn’t have to be much; card, time, handmade item, etc.
• Give to your enemies- having enemies is not suitable for your soul. You carry this baggage with you all the time, and it gains you nothing. Teaching children to forgive their enemies by giving a gift to yours can help them learn a valuable lesson. Besides, maybe your enemy will become your friend, and your heart will be lighter.

If we teach children that giving is about love and appreciation, we will help them gain psychological benefits and strengthen bonds. You can even teach toddlers the art of giving when done appropriately. Follow these simple tips:

• Make it a team effort-it’s more fun and productive when the whole family chips in for something. Even if it is volunteering at a church function, making a meal, or cleaning a yard. 
• Give small tasks, based on age to each child- chores, decorate for someone, pet care, etc.
• Always lead by example– monkey see, monkey do. 
• Volunteer– nursing homes, homeless, sick, physical therapy; whatever your cause is, do it together.
• Do it all the time– however, you decide to give, show your children that you care all the time. No, not every day, but frequently throughout the year in a variety of ways. For example, clean the park, donate clothes to the poor, bring canned food to a food kitchen, teach Sunday school at your church, get involved in PTA, etc. Simple, easy lessons.
• Count your blessings– teach them family traditions, stories, poems, lessons, etc.
• Use your imagination– get creative. There is no right or wrong way to give. Just show them you care about more than yourself.
• Make it fun– if the littles are not enjoying the giving, then you’ve lost the message. They need to feel good about what they are doing for it to be effective.
• Give them a choice- indeed, you can narrow the choices down but allow them to be part of the process. Say something like, “what would you like to do for aunt Kate on her birthday; make a cake-clean the yard-draw a picture or write a poem?” 
• Teach them to understand the difference between need and want- certainly everyone has both, but some people don’t have someone tending to their needs and may benefit from a toothbrush, clean clothes or new shoes. Show them that buying a homeless person’s essential hygiene items is appreciated by that person.
• Let them see the impact they make- if you decide to work as a family in a soup kitchen, the children will see what gratitude is. If they make a scarf for their neighbor and leave it anonymously, someday they may see her wearing it. However, they can witness the impact, the more significant psychological difference it will make.

Other ways you can teach the art of giving:

• Teach about sustainable development goals and how to help the earth. Everyone benefits!
• Have a child teach another child how to read, write, art, cursive, math, play a sport, etc.
• Pet care for someone. 
• Send cards to the military.
• Get involved in Operation Christmas Child, or something like it.
• Adopt a park, street, area to keep clean.

There is a myriad of ways to teach children about the art of giving without spending a dime, but if you choose to buy gifts, show them some financial sense based on their age:

1. Budgeting: Be sure to talk about ways to earn money- chores, odd jobs, babysit, work, etc.
2. How much money do they have?
3. How much will they make?
4. From where and by what deadline?
5. How much will they spend on each gift?
6. List of who and what they want to buy: Make sure they honor the wishes people have (within reason). Those that don’t want anything may have a good cause, and those that ask for a specific item may have a need.
7. How many people are they getting a gift for?
8. Do they have any idea of what this person has asked for?
9. Research gift prices: obviously, the older child will grasp a better understanding of comparative shopping but don’t discount the little ones yet. If they can understand “bigger than, smaller than,” you can show them the difference. Just take the time to teach them online first to simplify the shopping trip.

Teaching generosity, love, appreciation, and gratitude can bring great pride in young people. If you, as the parent, show enthusiasm during the process, you will have taught your children a lifelong, priceless gift that they will be passed on for generations to come. Be proud of your little ones for all their efforts, and enjoy a peaceful season of LOVE.