Seven steps to navigate the holidays with a baby can be your life preserver during such a stressful time. Share these tips with your partner and get a head start on your planning.
Birth is one of those times that an instruction manual would come in handy. Each human spirit is so individual that the need for a unique set of guidelines at any birth could prove advantageous, for the rest of their life. No two beings are the same, and parenting them as such could improve the outcome for both mom & baby. Since our mothering instincts guide us and a lot of trial and error, I thought you might appreciate a few tips on a subject rarely intuitive or discussed.
Special Occasion Tips
How to navigate holidays, parties, celebrations, vacations, and any occasion that may take you and your baby away from your everyday norm can be confusing at times. Most families would go about the event as usual and deal with issues as they come up, not realizing they could’ve avoided some pitfalls.
- Get help; If you are in the first weeks (<12 weeks) postpartum and there is an occasion you are hosting, please enlist all those beautiful people in your life who are begging to lend a hand in some capacity. Be humble. Being a supermom is a curse, not a blessing. If you have a hard time letting go due to perfection issues, lower the bar just this once. Learn to “go with the flow” and be grateful for their efforts. There is scientific proof that your body needs to do nothing but rest, recuperate and feed your baby for a minimum of 6 weeks. Everything else will fall into place as it should.
- Early: The earlier you reach out for assistance during this event, the easier it will be for everyone. If you’re aware of the activity before birth, do some of the preparations ahead of time. Even meals can be cooked and frozen. If you fail to take my advice and do too much, you will feel the ill effects and have regret. Also, beware of going to any events in those first weeks as well. If you can decline the invitation, do so. Maybe you could skype or FaceTime to be part of more important activities. The people who care about you most will understand the importance of your recuperation and fear of germs with a newborn.
- If you are >three months postpartum, you still have every right to take it easy. The exhaustion and demands of the baby take up a good chunk of your life, and you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed. Let’s face it, babies can’t help themselves and need you 24/7, and the life events we are asked to be part of or plan will never take precedence. As exciting as it may be to get out and about with family and friends, reconsider when feelings of drudgery creep up. Nothing can be vital enough to cause you constant worry in your first year as a new mom or even a seasoned mom. Learning to care for another person can be so time-consuming that you can’t afford to risk the stress. Remember, stress equals a lowered immune system, which creates illness. You are most crucial to your family and need to stay healthy.
- Wearing your baby in a crowd will help lessen the germs and prevent well-meaning individuals from touching your little munchkin. If you must share, remind the family to wash or give them a squirt of hand sanitizer. Be especially active in your convictions around flu season, as many people can wake up sick the next day. You can also insist that he needs to eat often and take frequent breaks to avoid germs.
- Sometimes the baby may enjoy being passed from one relative to another. Even though he may be seemingly content, continue to feed him periodically. If you wait for him to tell you he’s hungry, you may have to deal with a complete meltdown and engorged breasts. He may be distracted one minute and ravenous the next. Engorged breasts can lead to plugged ducts and possibly mastitis, which can lower milk supply, which can create problems that last. Not worth it.
- On the other hand, you may have a fussier baby on these occasions. Keep in mind all personalities are different, and some babies may feel stressed in these circumstances. It’s best if you’ve prepared yourself to feed in public (practice in front of a mirror) and potentially in the presence of naysayers. He will settle best by continuing to feed frequently and hold or wear him. Someone undoubtedly will ask you if “he’s getting enough” or “when are you going to stop breastfeeding?” or worse yet, “would you like me to feed him a bottle?” Have a few comebacks ready or learn to steer clear of those people. Don’t let ignorant comments bring down your confidence. Do what’s best for you and your family.
- If you need to travel long distances, plan outside the box. By car, it’s best to visit when the baby sleeps most, even if it’s the middle of the night, and frequently stop when awake. By plane, take nonstop flights, breastfeed during take-off and landing, travel when the baby is sleepiest and pick seats next to a window or 1st class. Keep long-distance traveling to a minimum during those first years. It’s not for everyone.
The steps to navigating holidays with a baby can be perfected with enough support and planning. There’s much to consider when pondering a holiday get together or vacation. Prior planning can help prevent catastrophes or lessen the discomfort. Be picky about taking on too much, and don’t let anyone bully you if you’re not up to it. If you find yourself with breastfeeding concerns after an event, be sure to reach out for help right away to get back on track.
Happy Parenting!
