It’s ok to grieve the pandemic and any other life altering challenge!
Existing during a pandemic is hard – to put it mildly. I’m quite sure we who have lived long enough to understand the crisis’ of our history, never thought we’d live through a pandemic such as this one. With modern medicine, intelligent minds, and progressive technology, the thought of a microscopic bug taking over the world sounds ludicrous. However, here we are, smack dab in the middle of an unexpected catastrophe.
In January, three months ago, before we knew the impact COVID19 would have on our lives, I fell down the stairs in my home. It is a boring story to tell as all I did was slip on a carpeted step with socks on. This small succession of events has me still in an air cast and unable to perform simple tasks. I broke my foot & tore off a ligament, cracked the ankle bone, and tore a ligament on the inner part of my knee. How? I have no idea! Who knows when or if I will have a full recovery and go about my life as I did before.
New normal
But I am not sharing this story for your sympathy or attention, as I know the horror and grief COVID19 has had on a large portion of the world, and my drama is menial. When I got hurt, I was angry at how a small step could radically change my life. I went through all the grieving stages- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (sort-of, it’s a struggle). Of course, in hindsight, I realize how immature I was (am) acting, but it’s how I felt. For whatever reason, the law of nature or God or whatever you believe had an unfamiliar and peculiar path for me.
Getting used to my “new normal,” albeit is temporary, but when you are dealing with crutches in snow and ice or going up and down the very stairs that made this happen, it feels like an eternity. Not to mention that I have yet to sleep a full night straight, thanks to the knee pain. It takes a lot of internal talking to convince yourself that “this too shall pass” when in the thick of it.
Since then, the world in which I’ve known for half a century has been altered beyond repair. Never mind my fall having what feels like a profound effect (on me), or the emotional struggle of learning acceptance-but a deep wound has been carved into humanity. The unthinkable has happened, and WE all have to grieve our old life. It’s ok to grieve the pandemic.
Possibly the mind transformation I’ve had to make since my injury was a precursor to the large scale erudite that comes with a pandemic. Under that cloak, I can view the accident as a blessing. I was already conforming to the essential changes needed to overcome my dilemma, physically and mentally. By no means am I suggesting this pandemic has been light on my soul but merely pointing out how one could look at tragedy differently-sometimes?
Rediscovery
In my neck of the woods, it has been 45 days since lockdown. In other words, we’ve had 45 days to work through those grief-stages to get to the acceptance part. Once we can accept our life as it is, everything else falls into place. I’m not proposing that we don’t take the appropriate steps needed to lead a life as close to normal AND safe. I’m suggesting that we rediscover our old life with new panoramic glasses on. Putting aside the pain and suffering of those families closely affected by this minuscule bug, there is something to be said for a “do-over.”
Wouldn’t you like to go on an adventure through your past, present, and future with a few ghosts? Maybe clarity will come to us as it did for Ebenezer Scrooge. It’s ok to learn a different normal, to try something new, to seek better, and have a unique takeaway about life as you know it now. Use this calamity as a springboard to find what you were looking for before this affliction.
With a bit of slack on the noose over the next few weeks, our state may have another six weeks or more to find ourselves in uncharted territories. Yes, it’s scary, and I’d like nothing more than to leave my house and not worry about those tiny parasites looking to take over the rest of the world, but I’ve learned acceptance. I’m treading water like the rest of you, but with a glass-half-full attitude.
Who Knows
Who knows if, with enough positivity and progressive change inward and outward, we might be able to kick this bug’s butt! I’d love to trust, like Elf, when everyone puts enough belief in Santa to make the reindeer lift off and fly. That togetherness is what I’m talking about. Instead of focusing on the negative and harshly judging yourself or your neighbors, work on acceptance and support for each other.
After all, there is more virus’ in the world then stars in the sky, and we’ve learned to co-exist since the beginning of time.
